DOUBLE TROUBLE the Novel

Page 58, Sweet Dreams

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:22:06 +0000

“Sleep with me tonight?” Probably a multiple personality disorder like Sybil. “Sure, but I’m kind of tired, I might not be at peak form.”

“Oh yeah Tarzan? What’s that rocket in your pocket?”

“Oh that? That’s my jewels”

“Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Look don’t you remember what I said about me not having sex with my neighbors? Don’t you take me seriously.”

That cinched it. I WAS asleep. And having one helluva bad dream.

“I asked to SLEEP with you. Not ‘go-to-bed’ with you!”

A real asshole would have make a gender joke right then and there, to lighten things up. I didn’t, only because I was too tired think of one.

“I’ve had insomnia worrying about my boyfriend coming to visit. You’re my best friend, you make me feel relaxed…p l e a s e.”

It made no sense to me at all, so we went to bed. I mean, we went to sleep.

Page 57, Dreams Come True

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:18:53 +0000

I eventually lost the tax man. He had probably seen the stones at the club and wanted his share–all of them.

What a day, I thought, trudging up the stairs. Can’t believe I started it in court before a judge. Would it never end?

I closed the door.

Knock. Knock.

I opened the door.

“Hey honey, long time no see.” Honey? Long time?–just saw her last night!

“Hi there, neighbor number one, what’s up?”

“How’d you do in court today?” It was 3:00 am.

“Actually, the judge…” I was struggling to remember, when she laid it on me…

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” Maybe I was already asleep, dreaming.

Page 56, Hit and Run

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:10:30 +0000

Suddenly, I found myself riding one, red-hot, bundle of joy.

“Hey where you rushing to? Home to your girlfriend?”

“I haven’t got a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, that’s what they all say. You gonna help me up or are we going to do it in the road?”

“Sorry. Are you OK?”

“My butt’s a little sore, but I’m used to it. How about you? Oh Baby, what’s this rocket in your pocket?”

I had forgotten about the diamonds. “Jewels.”

“Yeah. That’s what they all say.”

“Sorry again, but I really got to go now.” I saw Mr. Personality turning the corner.

“It was nice bumping into you!”

I turned and ran.

Page 55, I Can’t Get No

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:07:46 +0000

So there I was, alone. Couldn’t believe it: I thought I’d be keeping the neighbors up all night for sure!

I decided to hoof it home, maybe walk off the stiffness in my… muscles.

The fog was making the sidewalk wet. Street lights glowed yellow in the reflections next to my feet. Poetic, huh?

SHIT, somebody WAS following me! I’d seen him earlier.

And Christ!… I wasn’t paying attention and had walked the wrong way. Where was I?

Gotta get out of here…

Was he still behind me? No? Good.

No, wait. Yes, he was. I started to run.

When I could no longer see him over my shoulder, I decided to take a sharp right and leave him lost in the primeval mist…

! C R A S H !

Page 54, So close…

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:04:36 +0000

“You really have to observe things more. Are you aware you were followed here tonight?”

I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything…

Give me a little credit for that, please.

“Don’t look around, barbell-brain, don’t let him know you know.”

She was bluffing. I gotta turn this around, fast! “What’s in this for you? Why are you helping…Me?”

“Because, you… complete me!”

“Do you ever stop joking?”

“Do I look like a Joker? …I’m serious!”

“Hey, here’s a cab.” My chance to take charge!

“Thanks!” she said getting in (alone!) “Want to see my face: look inside yourself. Seek and ye shall find.”

Slam…I guess you guessed what that was.

Page 53, Rule 2, Never…

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:01:33 +0000

“Your place or mine?”

“Weren’t you listening?”

“Huh?”

“I told you already, right from the start– I never have visitors.”

“Want to come to my place, then, and watch some TV?” A little levity will loosen her up!

“On our first date? Never!”

“Never? Is that a hard and fast rule?”

“Just for a ‘hard and fast’ guy like you!”

Have to try a different tactic! “So when do I get to see that pretty face of yours?”

“You really don’t pay attention do you! I already told you before: we’ve already met many times.”

This was getting me nowhere. Except, FRUSTRATED!

Page 52, Now I’m a Believer

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:58:23 +0000

“Voodoo? Don’t you need to believe in that stuff for it to work?”

“That’s right, Harry Potter, so believe it!”

I was still so horny I was delirious. And now my brains were spinning like that girl’s head in the Exorcist. “Lets go get a drink.”

Clink. (that was the sound of our glasses clinking.)

“Things are not what you think. That lawyer bitch is their ‘good cop’…”

I was still hornier than Hell.

“…They are also out to ‘bad cop’ you– remember that break in?”

Christ. I wanted to drag her under that table and…

“Come on Dr. Jekyll. Let’s get out of here.”

Oh, yeah! Now she’s starting to make sense…

Page 51, Diamonds are Forever

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:55:15 +0000

“Here. Take these.”

“Jesus. Are they real?…where did you get them?”

“Same place I dug up the dirt on your lawsuit.”

“Huh?”

“From your court room crucifier.”

“You stole them from that lousy lawyer?”

“Borrowed… And she’s not so lousy… in bed.”

“What! What…what are you giving them to me for? Are you crazy?”

“Crazy for you dream-boy! Put them away before someone sees them.”

“And then what?”

“Take them home and put them under that old demon thing of yours.”

I was right, right from the start. Right from the very first phone call: Wac-Ko!

Page 50, She Said She Said

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:52:20 +0000

Was that dancing? I felt a demon pulsing in my veins.

She handed my belt back to me. Boy, she had all the moves!

We were silent.

“God, that was better than…”

“Stop. Don’t even try describing it with words.”

That meant ‘shut up’ …

“Our energies are now in sync.”

Huh?

“Let’s go back to that corner for some privacy, I want to give you something.”

Yes! …Oh, Yeah….

Page 49, Piece of the Puzzle

davidrhales — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:48:17 +0000

“Stay tight, skin tight, so I can whisper in your ear. I found some things out.”

God she smelled good.

“You bought a piece last year at auction, about two millennium old. It’s a figurine of a mythological Deity.”

“Figural Nazca Ceramic. A subject they painted often, but almost never realized in three dimensional form.”

“Good, now fill my gaps in with some hard information.”

“No one recognized it. Or wanted it. It’s the only one I’ve ever seen. A King’s blessing, from the Gods.”

“Well, a powerful, superstitious politician wants it now, as a ‘lucky charm’, at any price… Even if he has to buy a whole estate, at triple its value, to get it. Get it?”

“The Nazca also made those mystical, airport size drawings in the deserts, visible only from the sky above…

…the ‘trophy head’, their symbol of power, was a central motif on their painted ceramics. They…”

“Enough of the Da Vinci Code. Let’s dance!!!”